Scorpion, because I am allergic to MJ.
Jessica Alba, for obvious reasons.

Matt Damon because to my understanding he is richer.
Dramatic chick flick, but only if I'm with another chick. You know why.

Brittany Spears, for I am actually sane.
Deaf, I need my eyes to fight.
Cow cos it looks better.
Barack Obama, I hate Chuck Norris, all his little Chuck Norris pompus statements, I just replace my name with them. Such as, "Glenny does not go hunting, for it implies possible failure, Glenny goes killing. >:)"
400 Pounds, I'd make it all muscle.

Both cos we're both cool and worthy.